I knew from early on in my pregnancy that I wanted a natural home birth with no interventions. However, due to the corona pandemic my local trust would not support this as home births were cancelled. I looked for an independent midwife, but there were none available in my area. I went ahead and hired a birth pool and continued to plan for a home birth, in the hope that the guidelines might change. As my due date got closers the guidelines did not change. After an unsuccessful appeal to the head of midwifery, I was eventually put down as freebirthing on my notes. (Freebirthing means birthing without the assistance of a qualified midwife or medical professional.)

The most stressful part of pregnancy for me was the effect of coronavirus on homebirths; my local trust would only support women who fit a certain criteria for homebirths. As a first time mum I did not qualify. My midwife was very unsupportive, and when I appealed their decision I was sent a list of all the complications that could arise during childbirth; despite me making it clear that I would plan to homebirth with or without a midwife present. I received no advice or guidance about the actual birth from the midwife. All they did was try to scare me into a hospital birth. I am so thankful for the skills and knowledge I gained from Hypnobirthing as it meant I remained calm and still felt informed, positive and in control in a situation where I would otherwise have been extremely stressed out and would have admitted defeat. I am disgusted by the lack of support I received from my local trust and my midwife.

The midwife had reassured me that someone would come out to check on me once I was in labour, but wouldn’t be able to stay with me. I was told they’d come out to me as soon as Jesse had been born, so I didn’t feel I would be completely going it alone. Plus, I only live a ten minute drive from the hospital so if there was any emergency I would be there quickly. I had my birth room set up with fairy lights, positive affirmations, oil burner and Hypnobirthing tracks at the ready.

I was 27 weeks when I took the Harmony Hypnobirthing course, but I had already been reading up on it since the beginning of my pregnancy. I found that practicing the relaxation techniques from early on not only helped me prepare for birth but helped me have a calm relaxed pregnancy. It also helped me bond with Jesse as I could always feel him moving around when I was meditating in response to the oxytocin and it was the most amazing feeling.